Agent Nati Binodini - Part 2

“পরবর্তি স্টেশন ময়দান” ঠীক যেন মেট্রো’র দরজা টা আমার জন্য ই অপেক্ষা করছিল|এবং ভেতরে ঢুকে বসা’র জায়েগা ও পেয়েগেলুম|তীন কাপ দার্জিলিং টি-এর পর দুপুর’এ ঝিমন’র বেপার টা মাথা তে না আনা টাই ভাল, যদিও ক্ষীদে ও পেয়েছিল ভালোরকম| নন্দা বার বার Flury’s এ খাওয়ার কথা বলছিল, কিন্তু আমি-ই না করলুম – প্রথম বারেই একজন অচেনা ক্যান্ডিডেট-এর কাছ থেকে এত সুযোগ নেওয়া টা আমার পুরুষার্থ এর ওপর হয়েত খূব বড় প্রশ্ন| নাকতলা স্টেশন আস্তে মিনিট কুড়ি সময় ছিল প্রায়, তাই ল্যাপটপ টা বার করে সুনীল চ্যাটার্জী’র পিএ’র পাঠান email টা আবার পড়তে লাগলুম – ‘tall, and preferably dusky girls would be great’| এখনো অবধি যে কটা মেয়ে দের সিলেক্ট করছিলুম, নন্দা কে দেখে মনে হল সে ওদের সবার উর্ধে – চেহারা এবং কথা বার্তা দুই তেই| নাহলে সাত সকালে আমাকে চমকে দেওয়ার ক্ষমতা খূব কম লোকে রাখে|

অন্য বড় শহরের তুলনা-এ হয়েত কলকাতা সেই ভাবে ইঁদুর দৌড়ে পেরে ওঠেনি গত বছর দশেকে, তবে যতটুকুনি হয়েছে, তাতে আমার লাভ ই হয়েছে সেটা বলা ভূল হবেনা| এবং জাঁক যমক এর সাথে জঞ্জাল গুলো নতুন নতুন আকার নিয়েছে, সেগুলো কে সরাতে গেলে নতুন ধরনের কায়েদাও লাগে| সেইজন্য একটি সাদামাটা detective agency চালালে টা কোনও দিন ও হবেনা| সেইজন্য একটি মডেল্লিঙ্গ এজেন্সি’র সাজ নিয়ে নেমেছিলুম বাজারে ছ বছর আগে| আর চারটে লোক হয়েত এই ভাববে যে এই বয়েসে বিয়ে ঠ না করে মেয়েবাজি করে বেরাছে| কিন্তু আসল মেয়েবাজ র যে একেবারে অন্য রকম মুখোশ পড়ে বসে থাকে, সেটা আর কজন জানতে গিয়েছে? আমার কাছে যেয়ে মেয়েগুলো কাজ চাইতে আসে  – তাদের কাজ পাইয়ে দেওয়ার পরিবর্তে আমার কমিশন বলতে শুধু জঞ্জাল গুলো কে জাল এ ফাসিয়ে দেওয়ার রাস্তা টুকু – সে একটা ক্যামেরা ফোনে এ তোলা ছবি ও হতে পারে অথবা একটি HD ভিডিও| কিন্তু আমার ব্যবসা যদি ডিটেক্টিভ এজেন্সি নয়ে – তাহলে আমার ক্লায়েন্ট আসে কোথা থেকে? এবং মেয়ে গুলো কে কী আমি শুধু নিজের স্বার্থেই পথই? দ্বিতীয় প্রশ্নের উত্তর হয়েত অনেকটা তাই, তবে আমার কাজ হয়ে যাওয়ার পর আমি প্রায়ে ওদের সবার জন্য আরও বড় এজেন্সি তে কাজ এর ব্যবস্থা করে দি – এবং তাদের সঙ্গে আমার চুক্তি আছে যে তারা ওদের দিকে ভুল চোখে তাকাবার চেষ্টা ও করবেনা – কারণ তাদের মালিক এর মেয়ে কে আমি এরকম-ই একটি জঞ্জাল-এর কাছ থেকে বাচিয়ে ছিলাম – টা সেই কৃতজ্ঞতা বোধ টা ওর রেখেছে|

আর প্রথম প্রশ্ন – আমার ক্লায়েন্ট আসে কোথা থেকে? সত্য তো এই যে তারা আসেনা নিজে থেকে – আমি তাদের খূজে বার করি – খবরের কাগজ এবং TV news থেকে|জঞ্জাল গুলো যখনই নিজের নোংরা হাথ দেয়ে কোনও মেয়ের ওপর, আমার অ্যান্টেনা গুলো যেন নিজের থেকেই ক্লায়েন্ট এর বাড়ি গিয়ে তাদের সাহায্য করতে| আমি কী পাগল যে এই যুগে নিজের সব কিছু ছেড়ে সমাজ এর কল্যাণ করতে চলেছি? তা একটু পাগল বটে, তবে এর পরিবর্তে একেবারে কিছু যে পাইনা তা ঠীক নয়ে, সেই পরিবার গুলো’র ভালোবাসা পেয়ে তহ বুঝেছি আপনজন কার হয়ে| ছোট থেকে শুধু বুঝেছি বাবা কাজের পরে বাড়ি না এসে ওই আমার ছাড়া যে কোনও মহিলা’র কাছে যেত, এবং মা সেটা দিনের পর দিন না সজ্জ করতে পেরে একদিন বঁটি তা একদিন বাবা’র ডান হাথ-এর ওপর চালিয়ে দিয়েছিলো...

“পরবর্তি স্টেশন গীতাঞ্জলি” তীন কাপ চা খাওয়া সত্তেও প্রায়ে ঝিমিয়ে পড়েছিলুম| কোনরকমে ল্যাপটপ টাকে বন্ধ করে স্টেশন এ নেমে তাড়াতাড়ি বাড়ি দিকে হাঁটা দিলুম| একবার মনে হল হয়েত কেউ আমায়ে ফলো করছে, তারপর ভাবলাম “না, ক্ষীদে তা বেশি- পেয়েছে মনে হয়ে” বাড়ি পৌছে মাইক্রোওয়েভ এ আগে কর দিন-এর ফ্রায়েড রাইস তা গরম করতে করতে ল্যাপটপ এ সুনীল চ্যাটার্জী’র ওপর Google সার্চ কঢ়্লুম, এবং রেজাল্ট গুলো প্রায়ে সব ই চোখ এড়িয়ে যাচ্ছিল, শুধু কয়েক মাস আগে তার একটা শো-এর ঘটনা নজর তা কেদে নীল...

ক্রমশ 

Agent Nati Binodini - Part 1

“তা কেমন আছেন মশাই!” চা এর ভাড় এ চুমুক টা দিতে না দিতেই দেখি একটি অল্প বয়েশি মেয়ে আমার দিকে হাত নেডে হাসছে| যদিও এরকম ঘটনা আমার সাথে যে আগে ঘটেনি টা নয়ে, তবু ও কিরম জানি একটু অবাক ই লাগলো | তাও সব রকমের ধারনা মনে থেকে সরিয়ে দিয়ে উত্তর দিলুম, “ভালই, তবে আপনাকে ঠীক চিনলুম না জে....” মেয়েটি আমার দিকে এগিয়ে এশে বললো “টা ঠীক, না চেনা’র ই কথা, অরম ভাবে একজন আছেন পুরুষ মানুষ কে রাস্তার মাঝখানে হঠাত্‍ করে আমার মত একজন আধ-পাগলী এশে তাড়া করলে হয়েত তাই হয়ে| টা আগুন হবে নাকি?” দেখি আমার সাথে কথা কথা বলতে বলতে মা লক্ষীর দুটি সুন্দর আঙ্গুলের মাঝখানে একটি ক্লাসিক মাইল্ড নড়া চড়া করছে| এবং মা লক্ষী সে বটে, পরনে তার একটি  ঢপ ধপে সাদা শার্ট এবং নীল রঙের জীন্স – দুটোই কোনও শীতলঘর শপিং মল এর সন্তান মনে হয়ে, এবং পুরুষ দের আকর্ষিত করার জন্য শার্টের প্রথম দুটি বোতাম খোলা, যাকে আজকাল কার ছেলে মেয়ে গুলো বলে ‘hotness factor’, এবং তার সুন্দর কাল চুল টাকে অত্রীরিক্ত যত্ন নিয়ে বাঁধা, আর কপালের ওপর আটকানো সাংগ্লাস্স টি যেন তার চুলের বাঁধন এর রক্ষা করছে| তাঁর মুখটি জে খূব সুন্দর টা হয়েত বলা যাবে না, তবে চোখ একটি চাপা রাগ, এবং অল্প শ্যাম বর্ণে তাকে সেটি ওই নভেম্বর এর সকালে মানাচ্ছিল বললেই ভাল|

এইসব ভাবতে ভাবতে পাঞ্জাবীর পকেট থেকে কোনও রকমে লাইটার টি বারকরে মা লক্ষীর সিগারেট টি ধরিয়ে দিলুম|জামা কাপড় দিয়ে দেখতে গেলে কিরম যেন নিজেকে একটু ভিখিরি মনে হচ্ছিল, তবে এই পেশা এ টিকে থাকতে গেলে সেটি জে একটা occupational hazard মেনেই চলে এসেছি এত বছর ধরে| কেসের পর কেস নামাতে গেলে জে ভীড়ের মধ্যে মীশে যাওয়াটাই সবার আগে দরকার, সেটি যদি গিরীশ চন্দ্র ঘোষ না বোঝে, টা বুঝবে বাপু? শুনেছি আজকাল কর মেয়ে গুলো নাকি আমার মত সাদা মাটা পুরুষ মানুষ দের প্রতি অকর্ষিত হয়ে বেশি, কথা টি জে কত টা সত্য সেটি এই মা লক্ষীর আগমন এর আগে ঠীক বুঝছিলুম না মনে হয়ে| মুখে থেকে যেন বেরিয়ে-ই আসছিল, “তা মা লক্ষী, হটাত্‍ এত ভাল দেখতে সব পুরুষ মানুষ ছেড়ে আমার সঙ্গে আড্ডা দিতে এলেন কেন?” কিন্তু কোনও রকমে নিজেকে সামলে বললুম “আপনার মনে হয়ে বেশ জরুরী দরকার আমার সাথে”| মেয়েটি মুচকি হেসে বললো “কী করে বুঝলেন?” “সেটি না জানলে আপনি আমার কাছে আসতেন না মনে হয়ে” আবার হাসি, “ঠীক ধরেছেন মশাই| তা দরকার টি রাস্তা’র ওপারের Barista-এ বসে আলোচনা করলে কিরম হয়ে?” “ভালই হয়ে, যদিও আমি কিন্তু চা প্রেমী”

কফী শপ এ বসে দার্জিলিং টী এবং capuccino’র চুমুক দিতে দিতে নিজেদের আলাপ গুলো সারা হল| মেয়ে টি নিজের বাগ থেকে একটি কার্ড বার করে আমার দিকে এগিয়ে দিল| Girish Ghosh’s Angels, বেশ কয়েক দিন আগে ছাপানো, কালীঘাট এর একটি ছেলে – আমার একটি কোনও ক্লায়েন্ট আর ভাই – বানিয়ে দিয়েছিলো| কার্ড দেওয়ার পর থেকে মেয়ে আসার সংখ্যা একটু বেড়েছিল ঠীক ই , তবে তাদের কাজের প্রতি টান তা মনে হয়ে কমছে| এবং তাদের দশ দেব না, কারণ ইদানিং কালে কলকাতা শহর আর সেইরকম ভাবে জঞ্জাল মুক্ত নেই| নতুন বাড়ি, নতুন গাড়ি, নতুন আনন্দ করার জায়েগা, এবং তার সঙ্গে আয়ীন কানূন এর পিণ্ডি চটকান| তাতে collateral damage হয়েত এক আধ বার হতে পারে, কিন্তু প্রত্যেক বার একটি করে বলি’র পাণ্ঠা জোগাড় করলে পরে আমার ভদ্র সমাজে বাস করে অসম্ভব হয়ে যাবে|

চা এর আরেকটি চুমুক দিয়ে মেয়ে টি কে তার নাম জিগেশ করলুম, যাতে মা লক্ষী বললেন “নন্দা”| নাম টি জে ফাও সেটি বুঝতে আমার দুই সেকন্ড ও লাগলো না, তবে সেটা ফাঁস না করে তাকে প্রশ্ন করলুম “তা নন্দা, আপাতত আমার কাছে কোনও নতুন অফার আসে নি, তবে তোমার মুখ টি দেখলে হয়েত যেকোনো ডিজাইনার লাফিয়ে উঠবে তার শো তে তময়ে নিতে” মুচকি হাসি এবার আরেকটু বেড়ে সে বললো “তা বটে, তবে শুনেছি দু সপ্তাহ পরে সুনীল চ্যাটার্জী’ একটি শো আছে, তাতে যদি সব মডেল দের লিস্ট না রেডি হয়ে গিয়ে থাকে, তাহলে আমার কথা তা ভাব যেতে পারে কী?” সুনীল চ্যাটার্জীর শো করলে জে কোনও মেয়ে’র ব ভবিষ্যত্‍ তুঙ্গে চলে যাবে সেটা নিয়ে কোনও সন্দেহ নেই, তবে নন্দা’র কথা গুলো শুনে যেন মনে হল সেই হয়েত উল্টে সুনীল কে ধন্য করতে চলেছে তার শো করে| আমার কার্ড তা’র দিকে চেয়ে থেকে বললুম “মতামটি সব নাম ফাইনাল হয়ে গিয়েছে ঠীক ই, তবে একটি মেয়ে বলছিল তা’র মা বাবা নাকি ওসব মডেল্লিঙ্গ পছন্দ করে না, তাই ভাচিলুম যদি তা’র জাএগায়ে তোমাকে নেওয়া জায়ে”

নিতে তো আমাকে ওকে হবেই, কারণ আমি জনতুম তাতেই হয়েত আমাদের দুজন কার ই দরকার মিটবে...

ক্রমশ

Warmth in the cold play

Musical training is a more potent instrument than any other, because rhythm and harmony find their way into the inward places of the soul, on which they mightily fasten.

- Plato in The Republic 

Over the last few days, like the last few weeks, months and years, I have been looking to deal with any kind of stress with three things that I find myself comfortable with: photography, writing and music (only listening to it that is). And in this post I want to write about the third area, something that I've never attempted before. Don't worry, it's not about the healing powers of music, but surely about the magic that one band creates - and a lot of us are familiar with the name - Coldplay. In Dhonispeak, wellofcourse, there is nothing new that can be written about Coldplay. But in my defence, all I can say is that this is probably the first time I'm attempting to write about a musical group, or music at all, and the effect that it has on my life.

Led by frontman Chris Martin, this alternative rock (or any genre that you deem fit) band from England has come a long way indeed. And so has my idol worship for Martin & Co gone up. Be it the timbre of Martin's voice or the unusual sounds that Coldplay manages to produce, there is *that* mystical stone locked away in some deep chamber of their instruments and voices, that makes them magical indeed. Like any good band, Coldplay has songs for every mood known to humans. But, the net result on our neural networks and cardiac compartments is the same: bucketloads of positive vibes that you just cannot afford to ignore. And it could be a half a dozen or just one song from their repertoire that you want to listen to, over and over again. A very good example here is Fix You, one of my favourite tracks, which starts off like a melancholic melody but goes on to transform itself into a peppy church choir-type number.

 
Besides, Fix You is one of those Coldplay songs that I don't mind listening to over and over again. And this number deserves special mention more because in the age of social networking, a lot of my friends on Twitter and Facebook (you know who you are) have recommended this song to me whenever I've been down in the dumps. And I've smiled everytime I've listened to their recommendation, knowing fully well that I've heard the song many times before. It's like that warm hug from someone special which you always look forward to.

Along similar lines is The Scientist from the album A Rush of Blood to the Head, which is one of the hugely popular Coldplay tracks, and is something that I search for on YouTube or on my iPod playlist whenever I want to start my day the possible way. And this one stands out with its beautiful lyrics - again not failing to bring a smile on your face.

And of course, when it comes to good sound with beautiful lyrics, who can forget tracks like Speed of Sound, Clocks, The Hardest Part from the albums X&Y and A Rush of Blood to the Head (not in that order though), or even their first big single - Yellow. Their experiments with sounds is something I noticed (and that's just me, may have happened earlier) first in Talk from the album X&Y, which also had a funny video to go with it. In fact, it remains one of the most intriguing Coldplay songs for me yet. This is a song I listen to whenever I want to intentionally twist things in my head.

On more of the wacky sounds, I feel the tempo picked up in the album Viva la Vida or Death and all his Friends, though the title track of this album again has very meaningful lyrics, with highly relevant intonations for this chaotic world that we inhabit. But, in their latest album Mylo Xyloto, released last year, the band seems to have really pushed the envelope in its experiments with sound. Which is why, on hearing some of the track first, I was shocked and outraged in equal parts and kept on asking myself: "Is this the Coldplay I've grown up listening to?". I even got into some arguments with my social networking friends because of this! But all the rage subsided when I went beyond the outer layers that the accompanying lyrics gave meaning to the unusual sound. And that applies to most tracks in the album - be it the more prominent Paradise, Every Teardrop is a Waterfall or Charlie Brown (the video for which was incidentally released on my birthday) or the slightly lesser prominent Princess of China (featuring Rihanna) and Major Minus (and I was listening to the last two on loop while writing this post).

 

Why am I writing this? Just to pay my own tribute to Coldplay? Maybe yes. But as I see it, for someone who has phases in his music listening that swing from progressive metal to dark trance and dubstep, Coldplay seems to be one of the few bands out there that has been a constant in my playlists. Of course, there are so many more bands which experiment with sound, produce songs with splendid lyrics that are rendered by voices as beautiful as Martin's (if not more). But as I said earlier, their is *that* mystical power in the works of Coldplay that makes fans like me stick on to them, no matter what. As a fanboy, let me add the mandatory sentence that "I'm sure Coldplay will continue to create magic like this in future as well." But more importantly, as my friends on Twitter are aware by now, if there is on shrine I had to build, it would be for this band, because for timeless songs like theirs, no one would mind being "stuck in reverse", would they?

Just so you know

For the last 24 hours or so, I've been experiencing a strange mood swing, the exact cause of which I'm yet to pinpoint (maybe slow internet or too much internet). And as usual, that foul mood ended up manifesting itself in my tweets as well, much against my wishes. You could say this is a weakness on my part, or that I have 'no life' and end up taking social media too seriously. Well, you are right for the most part, just that I do have a life outside Twitter and Facebook, maybe that part of my life has reduced in size considerably over the last few years. Yes that has been a shortcoming on my part - to not build an alternative life offline. And this is probably not a kind of blogpost you will expect from someone who gets by with mostly flippant or funny tweets 24x7.

Due to my bad mood, I ended up not replying or sending sarcastic replies to some people whom I interact regularly with on Twitter. But most importantly, I ended up doing something totally against my social media character - I added protection to my tweets. A lot of you asked me why I did it. Well, all I can tell you is that there are some of you out there who take Twitter in the diametrically opposite way that I do - too casually. Honestly, even I may Twitter too casually at times. But that's where the difference is. Hence, such kind of people feel that if a person comes online with a certain persona, that should stick to him or her for the entire duration of his or her social media existence. Hence, if I am someone who cracks jokes often, that's what I should be doing as long as I tweet, and if I happen to say anything on the serious or emotional side - it should be dealt with as you do normally - in a flippant manner. And of course, there is the more well-known category other than me which takes social media too seriously - trolls. Of course, trolls should not be taken seriously, and are only here to rile us, so that they can have their share of fun. But, if we go through a typical analysis of a troll, a lot of written material on which is available on the internet, we may across this conclusion mostly that a troll is possibly a freckled teenager or a lonely housewife trying to make use of their abundant free time by spewing venom on others. Well, I've been guilty of trolling some social media or even real life celebrities/brands on Twitter myself. But in my defence, the number of instances have been far less than your average troll.

Coming back to my mood swing, I'm taken aback at this turn of events myself. And I'm genuinely sorry for my rash behaviour all this while. Maybe this is some kind of confession oriented blogpost but I felt the need to do it, hence. Also, I can't thank the person enough (you know who you are) who took the effort to calm me down via DMs (not to say rest of my Twitter friends are insensitive, since others have helped me out on other occasions as well). And I sincerely apologise to those who had to bear the brunt of my mood swing. As I write this, I'm trying my best to come out of this phase. After reading this, a lot of you may suggest that I take some time off Twitter and focus on my offline life more. Maybe I will do that, but let time be the best judge of that. Unlike a lot of talented people out there who I know, I'm not capable enough to hide my emotions or lead a completely impersonal online life (not being sarcastic). Maybe I should work towards that, but till that happens, hope all of you out here in the world of 140 will continue to accept me the way I am and not expect too much from me. Thank you all.

When Words form Bonds

As they often say, tweeting killed the blogging star. This need not hold true for some really prolific bloggers I have come across, but this surely holds true for me! Which is why I decided to drop by my own blog (*removes yet another cobweb*) and scribble something. Let me warn you well in advance that this is yet another blogpost on yet another Twitter's user's experiences, albeit a bit specific in its context. So, it's perfectly alright for you to start yawning right away (since I'm hoping that you will still read it).

This year on Twitter has been about two things for me: meeting a lot of my Twitter contacts offline and engaging in conversations on varied topics with them, online as well as offline. And I'll talk about a specific kind of online interaction I've been having, even though conversations tend to lapse into the zone of predictability many a time. I'll talk about my interactions with women on Twitter. Nothing new here, but still worth penning down my thoughts on probably.

No blogpost is complete without its share of quotes that make the author look like a thinking woman's sex symbol. Ok, maybe that is stretching it a bit too far but then, it's #ok. So, on the subject of women, while a lot of writers, artists and the likes have said a lot of things, one of my favourites is by the inimitable Groucho Marx, who said: "A man's only as old as the woman he feels." I feel this holds true for social networks more than anywhere else these days. Such a notion as an age barrier becomes extinct in the blink of an eye, be it same or opposite-sex interaction. But when talking to a woman, online or offline, how many times has a man not asked himself - "how should I temper my interaction with her, with regard to her age and relationship status?". Ok, leave out the exceptions and then think about it. Since the start of this year, I've talked to women of various ages, backgrounds, temperaments etc. And trust me, I have asked myself this question every single time. What a woman wants from a man and vice-versa are the subjects of much broader discussions. What I want to talk about here is that aura of mystery that surrounds so many women I've spoken to on Twitter, and the occasional surprise that comes with it.

Some of them choose to show their real identities (faces and names) here, some of them don't while some straddle the twilight zone. And the third category is what is most intriguing (not to say the other two don't hold any significance - since I'll come to them later). The partial revelation of information is what provokes the senses - the cropped picture of a smiling face, or a backless dress with a tattoo, the swing between the philosophical and the mundane realities of life in their tweets, and so on. It begins with one loaded tweet about that funny thing called 'life', or just a simple flattery about the eyes or the nose ring. They see it, and some way or the other, it tickles their thought process. They want to talk, but from a guarded perimeter. And thus, I (or many men) want to probe further through the route of DMs. Then they let you into their Facebook pages or Gtalk IDs, finally culminating in a phone conversation (since offline interactions are still fewer in number).

On the other hand, the other two categories - the completely anonymous and the completely open - tend to make things much clearer. But, with some skills, there are hidden codes that can be cracked in those instances too. For example, in the case of one girl who once opened up about herself in a Gtalk chat and also accepted my Facebook request. It turned out that she is a college-going girl who goes to college and is gorgeous in every sense of the term. Apart from the fact that she has the mix of a girl-next-door image as well as smartly-cheesy thoughts. But, my first four serious interactions were with those who belong to the third category. And there is something that binds all of them together - they have or they seem to be undergoing a lot of turmoil in their lives. All of them have opened up to me to a great extent, which is why I can say that I see an innocent soul caged in all of them, maybe inadvertently. I have met one of them offline as well, while one of them lives many seas away and has promised to meet me some day...

Hence, it should come as no surprise that a more frequent interaction I'm having these days is with someone who comes from the third category. There is so much I've come to know about her, and there may lie the promise of knowing more, since she has urged me to meet her in more than one conversation. But, interestingly, I've been talking to some a lot who happen to be from the first category - open about their identities and quite confident (this is not intended to belittle those who don't want to share all information publicly). Again, I've met one of them offline as well. She is one with whom you will be equally comfortable playing a game of dumb charades as well as discussing life and its meanings. Almost every photograph of her shows her smiling like a cherubin and makes you want to wish a hug from her. Then, there is one who as beautiful in her looks as well as well as words. She has a way with making words dance to her tunes, and someone who you would want to look up to when you hit a low at times. She takes flirting by vagabonds like me in her stride, never making you feel guilty about it - but not making any exaggerated moves at the same time. And lastly, there is one whose eyes do all the talking, who lives in the same city as me - and observes my words with precision every time. I want to interact with her more, because I see that spark in her like I do in the others.

It could be pointed out that I've ended up indirectly writing a stalkers' guide. But, it has not been my intention to do so in the least. All I have tried to do is be honest about my experiences, while taking care not to disclose the Twitter handles of those whom I've talked about here. I'm sure those who have been discussed here have understood it, and please excuse me ladies if I've said too much! I like each of them for one or maybe a few traits that are unique to them, since it has also reaffirmed my notion about attraction in the virtual space. And that is - if you choose to like a woman with whom your first interaction is online - do not attempt to stand out from the crowd just because you have to. Because, at the end of the day - life goes on amidst the crowd only.

Why Chetan Bhagat is a genius

Chetan Bhagat - the man whom social media loves to hate, with a lot of passion. I may not be the first or the last person composing a blog post to talk about this. But, since his latest book is out, why would I not want to encash the opportunity to talk about the man who has probably learnt to incite hate so effortlessly in the online world? And that is where, his genius lies. And I have two arguments to defend that.

My first explanation is based on social media itself. Twitter - probably the most powerful social network today - thrives a lot on the concept of hashtags, which can stimulate the nervous system of millions without the need to pump a drop of chemicals in the body. One of these hashtags a couple of years ago went by the name of ChetanBlocks - where Mr Bhagat, or CBag, as he is affectionately known to the online world - went about blocking anyone or everyone who showered any kind of reverse compliment on him on Twitter. The hashtag was in vogue for quite some time and has been brought back to life in various avatars since. But this is just one of the instances where he had to take the brickbats, which go to the extent of questioning his IIT credentials. More recent instances included his comments on childbirth and arguments with a technology tycoon. And of course, who can forget the 3 Idiots incident. In all this, what we may or may not have missed is that this was a very sophisticated ploy of going viral on the internet. Ladies and gentlemen, not for a moment am I saying here that the only way to gain someone's attention is to utter garbage all the time. But, take a look at the Twitter conversations around you - locally or globally - isn't it the negative that catches your attention most of the time? From a Poonam Pandey and KRK to a Charlie Sheen and a Sarah Palin. We love to heap scorn on the numerous reality shows on television that are an assault on our senses (and our rightly so). But, the TRP meters of the channels also go in hyperactive mode, mostly northwards. You may say that debate/talk/argument on such issues on social media is the world's way of cleaning up the system. But, look again - how many talking about such entities are actually more interested in reforming rather than finding some entertainment online? Alright, teaching celebrities how to talk may not be a subject of national importance, but pardon me, I was just having fun :)

And this is apart from the fact that an entire Twitter account based on Mr Bhagat's parody has a huge following (since I have met the person concerned in real life, nothing personal against you mate!). In short, there's no publicity like negative publicity - as the likes of KRK, Taslima Nasreen and Poonam Pandey have successfully learnt from Mr Bhagat.

My second argument tends to be more academic. In my professional capacity once, I had attended a talk given by Mr Bhagat once - where he recounted his experience of marketing one of his books as a commodity like rice or sugar at the neighbourhood kirana store. Right, so these are surely not the kind of books which are launched whilst the glitterati swirl the wine in their glasses. These are the kind of books whose success is celebrated by the publisher sending boxes of local candies to people who may contributed to the glory. These are not the kind of books on which you may want to write academic papers, but which originate from places you and I still can't ignore, like office cubicles. This may bring us to an entirely different debate - what defines a book? For safety sake let us assume that it is an aggregation amounting to anything above 5,000 words of one or many people's thoughts - even if it is not able to stand up to a Steinbeck or a Kundera. Why do I say so? Well, there comes social media again - people rarely want to click on link that contains more than 140 characters in a tweet. Or even look at mass media and popular culture - the rise of Twenty20 cricket or Maggi noodles. In such a scenario, when Mr Bhagat manages to catch peoples' attention with his racy reads - by writing a book - is it not something to think about? If people have low attention spans, it also means that they have lower composition spans. Hence, writing anything even above a thousand or two thousand words needs a lot of concentration - something that is hard to come by in the age of instant gratification. As an aside, I may add that those of you familiar with the concept of NaNoWriMo may be able to relate to what I'm talking about.

Hence, I do think that Chetan Bhagat is a genius (in a negative as well as a positive way), because, he has the words, he has the money and most importantly - he has your attention.

(this blogpost may not have been possible unless four people on Twitter - @69fubar, @storyelvis, @oneblackcoffee and @SomeBirdie - had not inspired me with their thoughts. Thank you!)

Help me decide!

Ding ding! May I have your attention please? It's time for me to buy a new gadget (so says the Holy Spender) and I'm in a fix over which one should I go for - MacBook Pro, MacBook Air or one of those sleek tablet thingamijigs (iPad/Samsung Galaxy Tab). So, why don't you - my dearest social media pals - help me decide? My requirements are: movie viewing, music, audio and video streaming, general browsing and the occasional download, some amount of picture editing (not heavy duty design) and of course - social media! So, go to the poll on the right side and vote keeping these things in mind. If not anything else, let this be a social experiment :)